September 19, 2006

Gifted

Filed under: Uncategorized - abcmomma @ 12:41 am

That’s the new label being used to describe Ant. He hasn’t been tested, but that’s what the doctor said when we sought help for Ant’s increasing emotional outbursts.

Gifted. 

Now that I’ve researched the term, I understand my son better. So that’s why he gets his feelings hurt so easily. That’s why he (my third-grader) wants to hang out with the middle school boys down the street. That’s why I’ve never had to worry about him doing his homework or being ready for a test. That’s why, when he gets one problem wrong on a math test, he beats himself up about it. That’s why, when he’s home, he’s in my face demanding that I watch him complete all the requirements in his scout book RIGHT NOW, and sign them off. That’s why he knows all the Pokemon and all the Neopets by name and type and damage and evolution. That’s why he’s making up his own "Pet Fighters" game, drawing the characters and assigning different qualities to each of them.

Gifted.

That’s what the doctor said when he suggested dh and I go to counseling to learn how to deal with it. And to think that I was blaming myself, wondering if Ant thought I was expecting perfect performance from him. To think that I was looking for help in a pill. To help calm him. Would it make him not-so gifted? I feel horrible now. Why would I want to keep him in a cage when he just wants to spread his wings and fly?

So now what?  I still won’t let him hang out with the middle schoolers. He will still have to wait until dinner is done or his sister is bathed before I can sign SOME scout requirements; because I don’t have time to do ALL of them RIGHT NOW. But maybe I will get him some colored pencils and index cards for his made-up game. Maybe I will be a little more patient and sympathetic.

It’s funny how a label made me see him differently. For now.

10 Comments »

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Wow! So can they give him a higher level of work in school?

Comment by Jami — September 19, 2006 @ 8:26 am

I have one (my oldest too) who sounds a lot like your Ant. Another friend has a similar sort of kid and she recommended reading “Parenting the Ephraim’s Child” as a great read. Here’s a link, in case you’re interested: http://www.cedarfort.com/catalog/0882907735.html I can’t vouch for it personally, but I do plan to read it!

Comment by Shelah — September 19, 2006 @ 12:16 pm

Would they let him skip a grade? Gifted is a much nicer label. It’s good to know that he is just bored and a perfectionist. I guess the trick is training that into the right direction. Keep us posted on how you are doing!

Comment by Stephanie — September 19, 2006 @ 12:18 pm

Coming from a kid who was labeled Gifted in school, be careful how you explain it to HIM. The last thing a perfectionist gifted kid wants is to be different than the other kids and not fit in. I had an awesome gifted teacher in Elementary school who told us “You are no smarter, better, or different than anyone else. You just think differently.” It’s true, really.

Comment by Alicia — September 19, 2006 @ 1:36 pm

I think he’s probably dealing with a combination of the drive/perfectionism of a first born and being gifted. I was in the gifted program growing up as well, but never had the need to accomplish something perfect and do it right away. Now my husband on the other hand…

Comment by Valarie — September 19, 2006 @ 11:51 pm

I’m glad you were able to get some answers. I think knowledge of what this all means will make such a difference in your sanity.

Comment by Beth — September 20, 2006 @ 10:58 am

That’s good news. I’m glad it was a positive outcome.

Comment by Karen — September 20, 2006 @ 2:26 pm

Hopefully this will help you to understand him a little more!!

Comment by emlouisa — September 20, 2006 @ 11:04 pm

It is amazing what a label can do to add perspective. Take time to digest it and you’ll find the right path.

Comment by Brony — September 20, 2006 @ 11:12 pm

I think the gifted label has it’s downsides as well, but YOu know now. And I think that makes a big difference. You still have those trying moments, but at least you can understand. And I agree with Alicia, it isn’t that he is “smarter”, he just thinks, feels, acts, differently.

Comment by meemer — September 21, 2006 @ 12:21 pm

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