I’m awed by the experiences I’ve heard about clashes and competition that occur in female in-law relationships — whether it’s that the daughters-in-law aren’t perfect enough or the mothers-in-law are just plain crazy or there’s some kind of cattiness going on among the sisters-in-law. I have to admit that I scored in the in-law department. We are different in every way, but they have accepted me, and I enjoy our diversity.

I grew up in a very active religious family. Serving in the church and going to the various church-sponsored activities was our life. Our discussions were usually centered on the goings-on at church. I went to a church college and served a mission. Dh grew up in a not-so-religiously active home. His mom is Catholic and his father is Jewish, but Dh never attended a church service until he was in his 20s. When he was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints at 24 (three years before I met him), his parents respected his decision.

I met Dh’s parents at their annual Christmas egg nog party about 2 months into our dating. I immediately fell in love with Dh’s father who is originally from New York and still has his Brooklyn Jewish accent. I was a missionary in Brooklyn, Queens, and Long Island for 18 months and have great nostalgia for the place. My FIL is a real easy-going guy. He has a huge collection of sports memorabilia. He used to smoke (and was only allowed to do it outside at home) but quit when our first son was born eight years ago, and since then, he’s been keeping himself healthy by ice skating nearly every day. However, he was recently diagnosed with colon cancer and will be having surgery on the 30th. Any prayers for him will be appreciated.

My MIL is a very active woman. She teaches yoga, sells her photography, and belongs to hiking and skiing clubs. In fact, she was pictured in the local paper skiing down the hill in a formal gown when her club had a Prom Day. She believes her son is a good man, but doesn’t put him on a pedastal, and she has never, EVER, made me feel like I wasn’t good enough to be part of her family. She’s originally from Massachusetts and when her father died about 5 years ago, she showed us around her hometown. I loved becoming more acquainted with her history and her family.

One subject that could have been touchy between me and the in-laws was when Dh and I were married and sealed for eternity in the LDS Temple. You need to be a member of the LDS church and have a temple recommend to be able to attend and participate in the ceremonies in the temple, therefore, my in-laws were not able to see our sealing (but neither did my brother and all but one of my four sisters). They did go and wait for us in the foyer during our sealing ceremony and they seemed genuinely happy for us when we met up with them afterwards. Later that day, before our reception, we had a ring ceremony at the church and invited all our family and friends who were not able to attend the temple. My wedding day was so peaceful to me, and I owe it to my in-laws for keeping such a gracious attitude about Dh’s and my determination to be sealed in the temple. Since then, the in-laws have supported us in our religious events as they have come to church for each of our babies’ blessings and also to Ant’s baptism. 

I’m so grateful to my mother- and father-in-law for keeping our relationship positive, for overlooking my faults in housekeeping and child rearing, for encouraging me in my different interests, for sharing their histories with me, and for raising such a wonderful and responsible man.